the hows ...

How long does it take to create a habit?

Some scientists say that a habit can be formed in as few as 21 days; others insist that it takes as many as 66 days.  I'll hedge my bets and spend the next six months reading and writing as many words as possible.

I'm thinking this endeavor will require quite a bit of structure and discipline -- things for which I'm not really known.  I'm more of a procrastinator -- queen of the last minute term paper.  Starting strong isn't a problem, but I fizzle out within a week.  So how do I trick my brain into hanging in there like that kitty on the motivational posters?

I picked up This Year I Will by MJ Ryan, one of the many self-help books I've purchased over the years, and re-read it.  I'd been too far gone into my tidal mood swings to make sense of what I'd read the first time but found some solid advice on its pages, honing onto a possible reason I've failed so often in the past.

Choosing too many resolutions -- lose weight, become a vegan, run a marathon, finish my education, organize my entire home -- practically drowns my efforts before I start.  Ryan suggests focusing on one thing -- keep your eyes on the prize, so to speak.  So I had to think -- what change in my life would make me the happiest?  Choosing to write -- to finish a writing project -- might possibly be one of the easiest decisions of my life.

Now for the good part:  scheduling and making lists.  Close friends and family know I love to make lists -- whether or not I complete the items on the list used to be a moot point -- the joy was in the making.  Yesterday I made SMART goals, wrote a contract with myself, created progress-tracking spreadsheets, set alarm reminders on my iPhone, and scheduled time in my planner.

The next part is harder:  follow the plan.  I'm not sure what will keep me on the right path.  Bribery isn't usually a good motivator for me, and I've broken promises with myself too many times to count.  I'll have to keep thinking about it -- I have to make it work.

So today is Day One:  Create a journal entry.

Done.

the whys ...

If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that. -- Stephen King, On Writing

I've dreamed of being a writer since my sixth grade teacher Ms. Carpenter read the class a book about the lives of Ponyboy Curtis and Johnny Cade.  Her words painted a vivid world of greasers and socs, families, friends, and enemies.  It felt so real to me that I cried when it was over.  I promised myself that one day I would do that too, create such an array of feelings in other people that they would be moved to tears of sorrow and tears of joy.  Twelve-year old me had all the time in the world to accomplish that dream. 

I celebrated my thirty-fifth birthday last Saturday, and I'm no closer to my dream than I was at age twelve.  As a young adult, I stopped reading and writing, struggling to juggle college, marriage, and work.  When my college years ended and marriage collapsed, excuses continued to follow me everywhere; there was always something more important than my writing ... or my reading, and my recurring mental illnesses plagued me, draining my motivation and creativity.

I'm creating this blog to give structure to my pursuit -- my literary dreams of becoming a writer and prolific reader.  Writing is work.  Reading is work.  I have to decide what's important in my life, making the choices to support those decision.  If I keep saying tomorrow, it'll never happen.